Most people get
married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things
they have longed for. The truth is that marriage at the start is an empty box.
We must put something in before we can take anything out. There is no love in
marriage. Love is in people and people put love in marriage. There is also no
romance in marriage. We have to infuse it into our marriage. We must learn the
art and form of habit of giving, loving, serving, praising keeping the box
full.
I always imagine
that the bride and groom look like stars in their own movie and the soft
background music gives all of it the feel of a fairy tale. It’s beautiful and
romantic, but it’s not reality ! Unfortunately, many young adults think of
married life as one grand, thrilling moment after another – the everyday. Marriage is much
more than a wedding ceremony. A wedding is an event but a marriage is a state
of being. It’s not a one-time act ! it’s a lifelong commitment to be developed
and maintained. We need to leave behind the giddy notion that marriage is a
game in which being a cute couple matters
the most.
In Islam, marriage
is a blessed contract between a man & a woman, in which each becomes
“permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit
of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the
other, and finds happiness and comfort in the heart of the
other. The word Love in
the Qur'an appears on over 90 places but interestingly it doesn’t define the
word love but speaks about the very first consequence of love “committing”.
Islam talks about “commitment”. "If you truly love, then commit, if you do not
commit, the your claim of love is not real." That's what I heard.
In reality, I don't see at myself to marry at an early age. I am afraid to get married with someone who I don't love. I have searched the Internet looking for information on Gamophobia, which is a fear of marriage, marriage fear, marriage phobia, fear of commitment, commitment fear, or commitment phobia. Sometimes, I have extreme anxiety if someone talks about it. but, it doesn't seem I will not marry. I just do not find someone who can handle it for me.