Sunday, March 23, 2014

in the last 2014

Have you ever had a moment where, out of nowhere you started tearing up and wanted to scream because no one seems to listen to you otherwise? Have you had a moment where you looked around you and realized how unsatisfying and unfair your life is? I had a moment like that today. I try to distract myself all the time, but today I just wanted to let it all out. I don’t want to leave my bed, but I know I can’t stop living. Here I am, 21 years old, and I have no idea where the F*CK (pardon) my life is going.

Indeed high school was the best three years of being a student among the 17 to 18 years of my student life: less stress, more fun, and most of all, more time to go out and have fun with my beloved schoolmates and friends. However, after those three years, goodbyes were made but new hellos were said to the new environment and people that I am going to deal with in my college life. 
My college life is similar with how people see life as a roller coaster ride: I had my ups and downs, situations that can be fun for a minute but terrifying for an hour, and lastly, there were moments that sometimes have to start with a big drop to make it more exciting and challenging. Yes, college never became that easy for me, not just because of the stressful courses but also, because of the people who somehow cannot understand how things must change in a way that can help a person to grow as a matured individual. Friendships, betrayals, failures, love and sacrifices, were part of what I experienced in college. However, at this time, all I need is a GRADUATION !!! I only wanna get my bachelor degree. that's all. 
O God, if You listen me, I only want graduate for this year. :") 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Deep Feeling !

You know how much I love you? | The time will tell you later.

Because this feeling is not worth to be spoken | Not while I'm still not ready.

As a greeting can tarnish the heart | 'maksiat' will immerse myself.


I'm already in that hole feeling | Speak or silence is equally torturous.

But when we speak it is not only the torture but also leave the sin | Because we are not ready and to hide away this feeling could be harsh.

Who knows my future and your future? | Sometimes the stupidity take over my senses.

I think if I tell this feeling, it will make me peaceful | Whereas I knew it is the beginning of the disaster that led to the regret.

Then, perhaps silence is the best way | or will I make you some lyrics?

However I have no face | When I should start with 'maksiat'.

So, let's hide this feeling without expressed it | ‘till the time, I am able and worthy to carry on.

How much I love you? | You probably never knew.


-Reblog and translate Ust. Felix Siauw's writing.